Second chance

It was miraculously accidental that I heard this song the first time on Saturday and found myself involved in the exact same story. I'll just let the lyrics speak for itself.

Second Chance
Songwriters: Bassett, Dave Richard; Smith, Brent;

My eyes are open wide
By the way I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way I'm leaving out today

(*)I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved
Said, "Why are you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere

Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Please don't cry one tear for me
I'm not afraid of what I have to say
This is my one and only voice
So listen close, it's only for today

(repeat *)

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I am in a different position now, with the passing of my father, I have made my peace with him. I heard a demanding father yesterday, listened to his complaints about how ungrateful his son is, and I was urging the father to let go of the son. I really felt for the son, wanting to please his father but frustrated not being able to. I used to do (and subsequently failed) the same. Until one day I gave up and moved on to be me. From that moment on, we only talk twice a year on father's day and his birthday. The conversation was filled with routinely greeting.

Until one year he made an international call on my birthday, despite of the same old conversation, I sensed his approval. I found out he was so very proud of me, but I wish it could've come earlier.

So this is also a note to myself, wrote on Father's day, that never to become the same demanding, nothing-is-good-enough dad that I once gave up upon. Because life would have been so much better with his company.

And I miss him dearly.